Remember when I said that I shit on everyone who has been good to me?
Well, here I am again, shitting all over TJ’s god damn chest.
“What the fuck is this crazy bitch doing this time?” you ask.
Well, I started a new job, which is probably just temporary, and they can tell me to fuck off at any moment, because I’m just filling in for someone.
“Get to the fucking point, Shelby,” you say.
So, I’m a painter now, and I’m helping a group of dudes flip a house that’s a shithole, so they can turn around and sell it.
Now, I know what you’re thinking.
A group of dudes.
A. Group. Of. Dudes.
We all know where this is going, don’t we?
I mean, do you need to re-read the title of my blog?
Of course, there’s this guy that I have a whirlwind of fucking attraction for.
We will call him Jango.
By good fucking jolly, is he hot as FUCK.
Like, I feel like I’m a 5 year old again, and my mom is telling me that we’re going to get ice cream.
That’s what I feel when I’m around him.
I’m such a terrible human being, and any sane person would probably not pay such a handsome specimen any mind, considering they have a boyfriend, right?
Wrong.
Like, this guy is driving me insane.
Of course, he probably has a girlfriend, and I’m just making a fool of myself, considering I have a boyfriend, too.
But he doesn’t need to know that.
I’m starting to get fed up with TJ’s shit lately, so in my mind, I’m just exploring my options, I guess.
Jango has the most gorgeous chestnut brown hair, and sparkling brown eyes.
His voice is soft, yet stern, and he has the cutest fucking freckles across his nose.
I just can’t…
Being around him is probably one of the only reasons why I’m so stoked about this job.
Otherwise, I’d be a miserable piece of lard sitting in my bed, being upset about the way TJ has been acting lately.
I’m probably making a fool out of myself, but at this point, I really don’t give a fuck.
I can find a new job somewhere else, and not have to see him ever again.
After all, I should be used to embarrassing myself now, right?
I mean, here I am, writing my fucked up personal life on the internet, and that should be embarrassing enough on its own.
Jango and I always make eye contact, and I just hope to god he feels the same spark that I do.
I’m in love with a god damn stranger.
I just can’t take it.
TJ has some competition now, but there’s no way in hell I’ll EVER say anything about this.
I can’t.
And I won’t.
Speaking of which, I found Jango on Facebook, and we’ve gone back and forth a little bit.
I guess I can say I’m slowly falling out of love with TJ, but if I ever told him that, he’d be heartbroken.
Today is our 8 month anniversary, and here I am, spending it writing about another fucking guy I’m insanely attracted to.
Jesus Christ, I really am a piece of garbage.
I’m a trashCAN, not a trashCAN’T.
I have so many mixed feelings right now, I don’t even know what to do.
Like, my mind is telling me to fucking stop being such a god damn hoe, yet my heart is telling me, “eh. fuck it.”
I think it’s time to dye my hair a different color again, because I don’t know how to deal with my problems.
Tales of a Sociopath. 